Soooo...we are getting close to the BIG DAY! Tomorrow we find out the sex of Baby B and we can't WAIT! I know a lot of my readers have been asking me if I have any feelings one way or another...I still honestly don't. I will say that even though I have been saying from the start that I don't care...I want one of each and didn't have a preference for the first one...I have discovered that I would really love to have a daughter first. However, I've also accepted that may not be the case. I am going to be absolutely thrilled no matter what. But, I do, not so secretly, hope that I have the chance to make hair bows and tutus and all kinds of other cute girly things. If it's a boy, I'm going to have to make hazmat suits and crash test pads for him. I'm not quite that skilled!!! But, again...either way, I'm just ready for this little mystery to be solved and for us to finally be able to give our little one their own identity. And, name. I told R that since he has to work in the community garden on Sunday, that I'd like to spend Saturday maybe looking at baby names. He told me that we have plenty of time for that! WHAT?!?! I do not THINK so! LOL...I told him I've waited patiently for 20 weeks...any longer is not an option.
My first purchase when we find out is going to be the baby book. I haven't seen any gender neutral ones yet. Of course, I've only looked at Walmart and Target. I haven't been to a proper bookstore which I'm SURE has them. But, at this point, I kinda want one that is gender specific. But, I can't wait to start putting the ultrasound pictures SAFELY inside of the book, writing down all these amazing milestones, and putting little momentos and keepsakes for Baby B. When I was younger, I used to have a birthday book. It had a list of prices of everything and news headlines from the day/year I was born. It was fascinating...even more so now that I'm an adult and expecting my own baby. It's incredible to see how much things are different...and the same...even nearly 28 years later. I am saddened that most of the headlines of today are created for shock value and that their aren't many feel good stories in the world today...but hopefully...28 years from now, my son or daughter will live in a world that is beautiful and peaceful and clean and look back and see how far they've come. How far their planet and society has come. God, I hope for that almost more than anything.
I know one of the arguments for not having kids today is because people don't want to bring an innocent child into this world. There are always going to be scars on the path of history. Look back...World War II, Vietnam, the Cold War, Desert Storm...But in between these moments of desolation and destruction, were moments of beauty...The Summer of Love, The Beatles, Judy Blume books and the Slinky... Things that make up the happiest memories of our childhoods and adolescence. And, of course, now we're cynical and jaded in the ways of the world, but we keep pushing forward because we KNOW...we FEEL that somewhere past the smoke ahead of us is a clearing in the sunshine where people are smiling and loving and happy...and I know that's the part that my kids will see.
I've gone and gotten myself worked up...really the point of this post today is to share with all of you who already love Baby B so much just how excited we are to be moving into this chapter. Aside from finding out the sex of the baby, the main point of the appointment tomorrow is to make sure that all of his/her organs are forming properly and that everything is going as planned with development, so I ask for thoughts and prayers for a clean bill of health for Baby B and I will let everyone know how it goes!!!
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