Sharing the Road

I've owed you all a life update for awhile now. I'm sorry for slacking on that. It's just that I'm so tired when I get home from work and I don't want to cheat you all out of a decent and well thought out blog. So, I'm making an attempt tonight...seeing as I *should* be posting a baby update tomorrow... We'll see how that goes.


Let's see...well...we've now lived in New Jersey for two months. Wow. Some days it seems like we just got here. Like, when I'm looking around the house at all the stuff that still remains undone. Other days, it feels like we've been here forever. Like, when I realize that it's been 2 months since I've eaten at Sonic or been to a proper mall. But, things are slowly and surely starting to have some semblance of normalcy. We've fallen into a nice little routine. I've been back at work for a month now and while I still have that "holy crap, how are we going to pay our bills" freak out moment, I know that things are getting better. I still haven't really made any friends. I thought that when I got a job, I might meet some people to hang out with. However, I work with a bunch of older guys...one older lady and a couple of guys my age. With the time difference and life going on and all...it's hard to touch base with friends back home. There are times when I get a little lonely...but I do appreciate this time that I get to spend with R before the baby comes. We've been bonding on a whole new level since coming out here. I had feared that the combination of moving and having a baby would put a strain on our relationship. I can't say much about what will happen after the baby gets here, but I think having only each other to lean on has really strengthened our marriage. He remains an incredible pillar of strength for me and has been so attentive to what I need. Not that he wasn't this way before we moved... I guess I just see it more clearly now. Also, shoving us back into a teeny tiny house has more or less returned us to our roots. We're reminded of the time when we lived in a little 730 square foot, 1 bedroom, 1 bath apartment. We're relearning how to adjust to each others' nuances. His socks, my dishes...the dog and cat fur everywhere.


The one thing I can't seem to adjust to...the drivers out here in Jersey. Dear Lord, where do I even start? There is a complete disregard for the "rules of the road" out here. I'm fairly certain there is no actual driver's test or class...otherwise, nobody here would be allowed to operate a car. I have an idea that perhaps they just sell them on the street corner along with hotdogs and pizza. Here are a few examples... I-80 is wide open...you're getting up to interstate speed (65mph, people!) and the jackwagon in front of you has come to a complete stop trying to merge onto the interstate. What he's waiting on, I have no idea, but by God, he's waiting for something before he gets over in the lane. Now...2 days later... Monday morning...I-80 is bumper to bumper...same Jackwagon is BLOWING past everyone on the shoulder trying to squeeze into a space that may or may not be big enough for his hoopty. Okay... I get it...you're an idiot. I get there are idiots in this world and all we can do is bless their hearts and go on. But, unfortunately, that's not where it ends. The "lane ends, merge" sign is another source of confusion for the New Jersey commuter. These people drive these roads every single day. They KNOW their lane, at some point, becomes a grove of trees...or a strip mall. But, they still insist on backing up traffic and honking at people who are in the CORRECT lane for being in their way. Another area that causes New Jersey drivers to completely lose their shit is blinkers. If you put your blinker on to get over, they will just about break their necks to close the gap so you can't change lanes. And, they sure won't use one to cut over in front of you. It's like an alternate universe on the road out here. Every single day the traffic report prattles off a list of accidents in the New Jersey/New York area and I can't help but think...to KNOW...it's because these people can't drive for shit.


Moving on to other culture shocks. Ladies that still live down South...I know you think Chivalry is dead. Up here...it is. Down there...well...there's still a shred of hope. Now, I'm no Pollyanna. The language that comes out of my mouth would shame a sailor...especially after dealing with the above group of people. However, at least back home...guys would be gentlemen about it. They may let an obscenity slip or tell a racy joke and immediately they would look to me in guilt and apologize. To which I always would tell them that my mama had filthier mouths than they did and I wasn't bothered. Up here...it took 4 weeks before someone made such a concession to me. Now, again...I'm not offended by it, but still...they don't know that about me. While that doesn't bother me...this does: MEN...When you see a lady coming, HOLD THE DOOR FOR HER! When a simple gesture such as that goes undone, it makes me think they weren't brought up right. I don't care who you are or where you're from...hell...I don't care if you are a man or woman...if you see ANYONE walking up to the door, hold the door for them. The other day, I was walking out of the building as a man was walking in. I had an armload of stuff that I was struggling with and the guy opened the door walked inside and let the door drop leaving me to juggle the bags and UPS folders I was carrying and shove the door back open. Now, I don't expect special treatment because I'm pregnant, but I do expect common courtesy and that would include not dropping a heavy glass door on a pregnant woman carrying a ton of crap. I feel like I should film a PSA about how to have good manners and proper social etiquette. You would think that pregnancy would have mellowed me out. Nope. I feel I have so much less patience and tolerance for bullshit than ever before. AND, my filter is completely broken, so I'm fairly certain that'll come back to hurt me later.


Climate Shock: It's the middle of May and I still have to keep my winter coat out. If I had known all those months ago that I would still be needing a coat at this point...I would have bought that super cute maternity peacoat on sale at Target. I'm kicking myself now. The mornings are brisk...about 45-50 degrees. I still wear a cardigan sweater or long sleeves every single day. The warmest it's been in the last month is 70 degrees...that was today. I still had on a Cardigan. The wind blows constantly, so 70 isn't exactly "warm" as it is "tolerable." I'm wondering where all this hot and humid weather is that New Jersians keep warning me about. Pffft...People in Arkansas have been going to the lake since MARCH. I'm staring at mine wondering if I'll even have to get a swimsuit this year. Everyone who knows me knows that this type of weather is ideal for me...however...I only feel that way after it's been 100 degrees for 3 months straight. I want some Summer, dammit! I only have one pair of Maternity jeans and 2 pairs of maternity pants...everything else is dresses and tights are becoming a no-go. Not to mention, we've got this garden plot in the community garden that we plan on planting tomatoes in and we can't plant yet! We actually got below freezing overnight a couple of weeks ago. We have put absolutely nothing in the ground, nothing in pots...I'm wondering how we're even going to get produce this year. The 15 day forecast is starting to look decent, but as I've learned...it will tell you up until the day of that it's going to be sunny and 70 but as soon as that first raindrop falls, it drops down to rainy and 55. *sigh*

I guess I should stop my complaining now, lest you all think I'm completely miserable. I'm not...I'm actually happy. But, these are the observations I've made... the vast differences between my life here and my life back home. Some of the good things I've discovered:

New Jersey Diners. These places are amazing. Extensive menus (including beer...Waffle House...I've been telling you for YEARS that this would work...you're missing out!) their desserts would make you cry just out of sheer appreciation (Baklava cheesecake, anyone?)

Trash to Treasure. Okay, let me explain. When people have furniture or stuff to get rid of, they put it out on their curb and put a sign that says "Free" on it. If it's still there come trash day...it goes on the trash truck...otherwise, it's yours if you want it. I've seen a few amazing pieces that I wish I had stopped for. So, now, I am very observant when I drive down the road.

Small Walmarts. Now...I've often complained about the lack of a Supercenter around here. However, there is much to be said about being able to run in for any basic need without having to hike 5 miles across the store to get to it.

Blueberry Banana Nut oatmeal at McDonalds. Okay, this one is cheating. I know you can get this anywhere, but I just discovered it this morning. It is amazing. I thought you should know. You're welcome in advance.


I think that's about it for this update. Hopefully tomorrow's update will be posted in a timely manner. And, I'll try to make my next story on my life be less bitchy and more entertaining.