I know it's been awhile, yet again, since I've been here to write. I could blame it on being busy and the little one taking up my time. But, the truth is...I haven't had much to say. Our days have been pretty monotonous and I'm sure nobody wants to hear the in depth details of every feeding and diaper change.
However, things are going to be picking up again. Sebastian will be 6 weeks on Friday. SIX WEEKS. I can hardly believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was posting my first bump picture on here. Actually...it seems like just yesterday that I was throwing birth control out the window and jumping on the TTC train. I can't believe it's been nearly a year since we found out we were having a baby. And, here it is...6 weeks old already. He'll be starting daycare on Monday. My heart is torn about this.
I know that daycare will be good for him. He'll get used to other people...other kids. He'll have a little bit of structure to his day. As he gets older, he'll have friends. I know it'll be good for me, too. To have some adult interaction at work...to be someone other than "mommy" for a bit. But I am so sad to not be at home with him...rocking him to sleep for his naps. Giving him his bottle. Singing and dancing with him around the house. And, I know how kids in daycare catch every little thing that goes around. Monday is going to be a very hard day for sure. I'm not really looking forward to it at all.
Friday is going to be an interesting day. I'll have my 6 week postpartum check up. Hopefully I'll be cleared for exercise among other things. I'm feeling pretty crappy about my body these days and hate not being able to do something about it. I went shopping today for clothes to wear to work. I had absolutely nothing that fit. Not even shoes...I was one of the "lucky" ones whose feet grew during pregnancy. Yay. If you think standing under florescent lighting is rough, try doing it with deep purple stretch marks and a poochy post baby belly that has some questionable skin puckering going on. Yeah...covering it up with new clothes didn't make that any better. In fact, as the number on the tag rose with each garment and my hopes of being anywhere near my pre-baby size going down... it was downright miserable. I have to try on EVERYTHING since I have no clue what size I am. Ironically enough...the only jeans I have that fit are my skinny jeans and a pair of jeans that belonged to my friend's teenage daughter. I'm not sure what twisted universe I stepped into, but here I am. God, I hope the Doc says I can hit the gym. I may not be able to get rid of the stretch marks, but by damn, I'm going to have washboard abs. Or something like that.
Back to things you'd rather read about. Sebastian started smiling recently. Real smiles...not the smiles that come during a bout of gas. He's also moved right out of newborn clothes and is pounding his way through 0-3 month. I'll never forget the first time I realized he was actually getting bigger. I tried to put a sleeper on him that he had worn just a few days prior...and his FEET wouldn't fit the footie part! It was a sad moment for me. But, also a proud moment. I know...that sounds weird but there are many moments like that when you become a mom. It's a huge mind twist. I teared up a bit putting away his newborn wardrobe but I look forward to the cute things in the next size group. He had a doctor appointment last Monday at 1 month and a day. He weighed in at 10lbs, 11oz. I'm betting he is well over 11 pounds at this point. He is going through a growth spurt and eating a TON. He's already grown about an inch in length since birth. Maybe more...my measuring technique wasn't quite the scientific method they use at the hospital. He is also following objects with his eyes and focusing a bit. Oh, and he is starting to recognize voices of people other than R and I. He recognizes Nana's voice when she calls and smiles so big.
He is my sweet angel and I can't get over how amazing he is and how much more I love him with each day. The day he was born, I couldn't imagine loving him anymore than I did at that moment. I was wrong...it is possible to love him even more.
Sorry it took so long to get these updates and thoughts to you, but hopefully I'll have more to talk about in the coming days. I will try to check back on Friday after my appointment to let y'all know if we're a "Go" for Operation Sexy Back (yeah...I went there) or if I'm locked down for awhile more. Until then...I'm snuggling my boy and trying to savor these last few days home with him.
